Why can't I get my narcissistic "ex-marriage", after over 8 years since my exchange as well as the alienation of the child out of my mind? Part 2

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Do we also have to process beautiful experiences?

Not only negative things are processed through contact with the subject. If positive experiences put us in an inner disorder, they are also processed according to the same principles: Winning millions keeps us awake for a while, we have to think about it constantly and feel an increased need to communicate. Or think of the state of being in love or other circumstances that make us "go berserk". The inner processing activity continues until the soul has restored its order. Only then is there calm in the head and peace in the heart again.
Remember: Whether we have won or lost millions, both are processed by the same inner processes. The only difference is the sign - plus or minus.

Our most common mental processing mistakes

Processing painful experiences feels miserable to horrible. For this reason, processing is often avoided. This is shown by the person giving a wide berth to certain places (the former house / the family album / the company where one was bullied / the street crossing where one almost had an accident / the cemetery etc.). Thoughts and memories of the experience are also not allowed and are repressed with all kinds of techniques.
Or they are only allowed up to a certain point and broken off at a certain intensity. In this way, the person does not get anywhere. He experiences that he "can't get it out of his head".

So what to do?

Allow thoughts and feelings, trustingly surrender to the inner process. The worse it feels, the more good, the more healing is happening. It is nothing more than the emotional echo of past experiences. It wants and it needs to come out. There is no other way than through the head.
Another important tip: Do not avoid triggers, but seek them out. Because triggers are processing triggers and processing accelerators. For example, mourning: People who avoid visiting the grave because they are afraid of the feelings that arise do not make any progress in the mourning process. Many years after the loss, they still suffer as on the first day.